Wisdom of Our Fathers.

Tim Russert, you’ll be missed by political junkies and laymen alike.

I grew up without my dad.  And it’s only been in the last year that he and I have begun to mend that relationship.  This father’s day, one of only two I’ve had reason to recognize, was particularly difficult.  It was my first without my grandfather.

My mom, who’s life is unrecognizable from the one she was leading on Father’s Day 2007, is a rabid Tim Russert fan.  She had hoped to spend Sunday morning in one of her few familiar places.  Sitting in the kitchen knitting and watching Meet the Press.

I miss my grandfather.  We butted heads more often than not, but I miss him.  He was a good, honest, hard working man.  And at the end of the day, despite our differences, I love him.  And it’s hard this week.  Thinking about that afternoon, going to Mom’s house to check on him.  Finding him on his back in the basement.  Watching medic 101B and 67-7A pull up in front of my mom’s house.  Trailing two EMT’s, a paramedic and two policemen, and watching my grandfather leave his house for what would be the last time.

The month went downhill from there.  And my mom was on vacation in Israel.  So now I keep my grandfather with me on my shoulder.  He’s there in my shamrock patch.  A cluster of four leaf clovers that represent the people in my life that I’ve loved and lost.  My grandparents on my mom’s side who helped raise me.  My grandmother on my dad’s side, who I never met, but left for me art.  My Aunt Pat, the only other family who came for my high school graduation.

Now to my dad.  I almost don’t want to let him back in my life sometimes because I don’t like the idea of adding too many more shamrocks to the garden.  But he really is a good guy.  And I know it’s a relationship that needs to be mended.  It’s bad enough I went through my childhood without him.  But to not have him now that I’m a man.  I need him around.  I need to start carving that father-son relationship.

I listened to how Tim Russert spoke about his dad, Big Russ.  I wonder if it’s too late for me to develop that kind of love for my dad.  It’s still so foreign for me to say “dad”.  But we’re working on it.  So far we’re still in a very polite-to-each-other phase.  Eventually I hope we get to the place where we’re comfortable farting and scratching our balls around each other.

Then again, my dad’s a Republican.  Do Republicans scratch their balls?  Or just hire migrant workers to do it for them?  Though, he is a Ron Paul Republican.  So at least I know the migrant worker would have a benefits package and a 401(k).

I don’t know.  My mind’s all over the place right now.  All I’m sure of is this: if you have your dad.  Appreciate him.  If you don’t, you’re not alone.

Me and the new girl went out yesterday.  Well, after she filled the back of the Dakota with ferret & cat food and kitty litter, we came back to the Danger Dungeon and watched SWAT.  It was good, though.

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One Response to “Wisdom of Our Fathers.”

  1. […] rhino wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt Tim Russert, you’ll be missed by political junkies and laymen alike. I grew up without my dad.  And it’s only been in the last year that he and I have begun to mend that relationship.  This father’s day, one of only two I’ve had reason to recognize, was particularly difficult.  It was my first without my grandfather. My mom, who’s life is unrecognizable from the one she was leading on Father’s Day 2007, is a rabid Tim Russert fan.  She had hoped to spend Sunday morning in one of her few fami […]

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