I’m Personally Offended by the Toyota Prius (and other stuff)

I was driving my six cylinder Dodge Dakota 4×4 to work the other night when a Toyota Prius drove by with a vanity plate that read “43 MPG” and I had the urge to run him off the road.  There’s something about that car that personally offends me.  Whenever I see a Prius I have to fight the urge to kick a door panel in.  It almost feels like it’s better than us because it gets 43 miles per gallon.  But it’s an ugly looking car.  So fuck you and you wierd truck design, Toyota Prius.

I realized yesterday that I shouldn’t let women set me up on dates.  It happened last weekend, one of my ex’s that I’m actually still cool with set me up.  It was looking pretty good.  My ex knows me pretty well, knows what I like.  And even had it set-up very low key.  We were going to meet out at her birthday party at a karaoke bar.  She even gave me a  “He’s a greay lay” endorsement, which goes farther than you’d think with women.

But I get to the bar, and this chick is a train wreck.  I almost gave me girl the “this is what you think I like” talk.  But it was her birthday, so I sucked it up and played along.  Fortunately there was no blood shed.  But it took me a while to realize exactly why it happened this way.  Women are insane.  We all know this.  And even though she wants me to be happy, she doesn’t want to see me with anybody better than her.  Its sort of like when you guy somebody a lottery ticket for Christmas.  You want to make the effort, but you’ll be really pissed if they win.  Plus, if I hook up with this chick and it doesn’t work out, am I just going to get passed to the next girl in the group?  Do I want to be the clique slut?  Usually, I’d be okay with that, but I like hanging out with some of these chicks, and there’s something very uncomfortable about being in a group of people who have seen you naked at different times.

Is it wrong that I want to get into a fight and hit a guy with a telephone so I can yell, “Can you hear me now?”

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